Why Can't I Remember
by Mistress Duck
Summary: After the fall of Holy Rome Italy's depression sets in. He hates himself for sinning. He was the cause of Holy Romes fall in his eyes. After a few nights crying over the loss of his lover. Italy didn't want to remember. He caused himself to forget Holy Rome. Even after Holy Rome is found alive and well.
1. Chapter 1

"Italy?" Austria said as he walked into the young Italians room.

"Si? What is it Mr. Austria?" Italy asked him looking back from his window.

"It's... About Holy Rome..." Austria looked down to his left. He couldn't face Italy's wide amber eyes. He looked so excited.

"What about Holy Roma! Is he coming home!? Is he!? We shall have a feast to welcome him back!" Italy jumped down from his bed and started to walk to the door. "We should start now! Then he will have a lot to eat to celebrate!" Italy smiled and started to walk down the hall. To him Holy Rome was amazing. Such an amazing boy who he loved dearly. Austria sighed and followed him.

"Italy... Now listen to me. I am your master so you shouldn't walk away." Austria stated. Italy stopped and looked back to the master of the house.

"But... This is Holy Roma's house..." Italy stated. Austria's eyes went wide and he sighed looking away from the young Italian.

"I am still older." he said hesitantly. Italy tilted his head to the left and looked up to the so called master of the house.

"What is wrong?" He asked so kid like. It was true. Italy was still a kid. A young lad who had many years a head of him in the right care.

"It's about. Holy Roma. I mean." Austria shook his head. "I mean. Holy Roman Empire." Austria took a breath and bent down getting to Italy's height.

"What's wrong?" Italy asked worriedly. Austria ran his hand over the soft brown locks of the Italian. "Italy..." His eyes looked so sad. Italy knew this wasn't good.

"Is Holy Roma... Is he ok?" Italy asked trying to ask for some form of hope.

"Italy... Holy Rome..." Austria closed his eyes and took a breath before looking back at Italy. "He pulled out a ripped part of a yellow flag out of his pocket.

"Is that?" Italy asked looking at the cloth. Austria held it out to him. Italy took it slowly and unwrapped the cloth slowly. His hands were shaking so bad. He let the cloth fall fully opened and noticed the part of the black bird he knew so well. "Holy... Roma..." He said softly. Tears came to Italy's eyes and Austria pulled the younger Italian closer.

"He went down fighting..." Austria said. Italy didn't know what to think. Just a few months ago Holy Rome told Italy he loved him. He had kissed him. He had loved Italy and now he was gone. Italy's tears turned the yellow cloth darker as he held it tightly in his hand. He shook trying to hold back the tears but he couldn't. The love of his life was dead. Holy Roman Empire was no longer going to play with Italy. To draw with him. To love him. He was never going to hear Holy Romes voice again. Italy's eyes lost all their light... When he pulled away from Austria and dropped the cloth Austria gave him a confused look.

"Mr. Austria..." Italy said a bit monotone.

"Italy..." Austria said to scared to ask.

"I'm going to my room... I'm not hungry..." Italy moved around Austria leaving the man sitting in the hall looking at the spot the happy go lucky Italian once stood.

Italy could only go back to his room. At first he started to walk but once he turned the corner the tears fell. He ran back to his room shutting the door and running right yo his bed. He held the yellow cloth in his hand and cried into his pillow. He couldn't face them. None of them. He had loved Holy Rome. He knew his love was a sin. God hated him. He was a sinner. He was next. Tears fell faster. Italy couldn't remember when they stopped and his eyes closed. He didn't want to remember...

He lost the love of his life.

Holy Roman Empire was dead because of his sin.

It was his fault Holy Rome was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

"Mr. Austria! Please! He had been in there for days! Please! Go talk to him!" Hungary yelled in distress. Austria sighed and his hands ran over his hair.

"What am I to tell Italy? Hungary... Italy has been depressed for days... I can't just walk in there and talk about Holy Rome! I might get killed or worse! Italy might cry!" Austria dropped his head on the desk. Hungary sighed and wiped her eyes.

"Oh what are we to do... Italy..." Hungary cried softly.

"GUYS!" Prussia came crashing into Austria's study and panted lightly. "He's alive! Holy Rome is alive! I swear he is!" Prussia scrambled to his feet and ran over picking Hungary up and spinning her around. "He is! West is alive! I found him! We found him! My people found him! France left him live! He is banged up and might not be out of his bandages for a bit but he's alive! He's living! I swear he is!" Prussia cheered so excited. Hungary and Austria looked at him.

"West?" They asked together. Prussia sat Hungry down.

"Yeah... My boss said we had to rename him for his own protection... So for now on. He is West. Also called Germany." Prussia said. "He really wants to see Italy! Where is the small son of a bitch?" Prussia asked. Hungary looked at Austria. He opened his mouth and Italy walked into the room.

"Good morning Miss. Hungary! Mr. Austria! Nice to see you again Mr. Prussia!" Italy smiled brightly. Everyone looked to Italy and Austria frowned.

"Italy... Good morning... How are you?" Austria asked.

"The same as every day Mr. Austria. How are you feeling? You look a bit under the weather." Italy pointed out. Austria blinked.

"You're not crying?" Hungary asked.

"Why would I be crying? I feel great! The best I have felt in days." Italy giggled. "I'll go make some tea. Will you be around Mr. Prussia?" Italy asked. His eyes looking to Prussia. Prussia blinked and looked at Italy. Just two days ago the Italian was in his room crying like a baby now here he is smiling like nothing was wrong in the world.

"Uh... Yeah..." Prussia said. Italy nodded and walked out of the room with a skip.

"What's up with him?" Prussia asked pointing to the door. Austria blinked.

"I don't know..." he said.

"Do you think... He blocked it out?" Hungary asked. Austria nodded lightly. It was the only way.

"Italy blocked out his memory of Holy Rome. Most likely to protect his heart." Hungary covered her heart and sighed. "Poor Italy... What ever we do we can't tell him... It will break his heart all over again..." Hungary said. The guys nodded and looked at each other.

"Then from here on. We can't talk about him again. Prussia... I am sorry but I will have to reject your offer... For now... Holy Rome must stay away." Austria said. Prussia nodded.

"Alright." He said. Italy walked in with tea and smiled brightly. Every one acted like they always would.

"Tea." Italy smiled. Every one chuckled at him.

"Thank you Italy." Prussia smiled and took a cup.

"Mr. Austria? Miss. Hungary?" Italy walked over and they took the cups.

"Thank you Italy." They said with smiles. Italy giggled and bowed.

"I'm going to clean. Call if you need anything." He smiled and walked out. The three of them sighed and Prussia looked at his coffee.

"Holy Rome misses him..." he said softly.

"He will have to wait..." Hungary said.

"You mean Germany." Austria stated. The two nodded and sighed.

"What a mess..." Prussia shook his head.


	3. Chapter 3

"GERMANY!" Italy cried as he ran to his friend. Germany sighed and opened his arms for the Italian to cuddle into. Italy hugged him and Germany held him protectively.

"What is it now Italy?" Germany asked looking at the Italian.

"The kitty attacked me!" Germany thought about killing the Italian then and there. He stopped himself and sighed.

"Italy... The cat was giving you a kiss. Not attacking you.. Cat's tongues are rough. Not smooth." Germany said as he ran his fingers though the Italian's hair. Italy snuggled up to him with a smile.

"Germany always knows how to calm me down~." Italy sung lightly. "It's like he has known me longer then any one else! Even Mr. Austria and Miss. Hungary!" Italy snuggled him more. To him this was normal. Germany sighed and hugged the Italian closer to him.

"Ja. Ja. It's just because we are friends." Germany said softly. Italy smiled.

"Best friends!" He smiled.

* * *

"Now west you have to listen to me..." Prussia said as he walked into his now teenage brothers room. Germany looked back at his brother.

"Can I see Italy yet? My bandages came off. Can I please see Italy? He must be so upset I left him." Germany said. Prussia sighed.

"West... I want'ed to wait a bit longer... Till you grew up more... Italy... He forgot about Holy Rome. He pushed you out of his mind to deal with his broken heart..." Prussia said. Germany turned to him shocked.

"He forgot me!?" He asked mad yet scared at the same time.

"He was heart broken when he was told you died! He feel into a depression and it was the only way for him to smile again. He had to block you out of his mind..." Prussia stated. Germany let his head fall and sighed.

"I can't go back to Italy can I?" Germany asked his brother sadly.

"You will only talk to him as Germany. You are West. You are Germany now. You are my little brother. You are a new person. A new country. Italy can't know Holy Rome didn't die. It might break him all over again. If it's to soon..." Prussia said.

"It's been a hundred years!" Germany said.

"It's to soon. You know Italy... He needs a lot more time.

* * *

"Yeah that's what he said but..." Germany covered the Italian with a blanket and walked back to his desk continuing his paper work. "I would love to come back..." Germany said. He sighed and wrote down a few more things.

"WEST!" Prussia yelled as he came running in. Germany stood and hushed him. He pointed to the sleeping Italian. Prussia hushed up and walked over to his brother.

"What?" Germany asked. Prussia looked at the Italian and then back at Germany.

"I think we can tell him." Prussia said. Germany looked up to him.

"What?" He asked shocked.

"It's been hundreds of years west. Italy is closest to you. He must at least some what remember Holy Rome." At the name the small Italian rolled over and whined lightly. Prussia smiled. "See." He pointed out. "You have to talk to Italy." Prussia said. Germany nodded his head and looked at Italy.

"Tomorrow... I'll tell him..." Germany said softly and went back to his work. Prussia smiled.

"I'll be around if you need me." He said and walked back out. Germany stopped his work and looked back at Italy. The small Italian looked so happy in his sleep. Germany just hoped that he didn't bash that happiness into the ground.


	4. Chapter 4

"Germany! Germany!" Italy shook the German awake and Germany looked around his office. Italy's face screamed worry and Germany scratched his head.

"Ja?" He asked. Italy smiled softly.

"I thought you were dead." Italy said as tears almost feel from his eyes. Germany blinked and took a handkerchief from his pocket. He rubbed the Italian's eyes and smiled to him lightly.

"Now now. Italy calm down. I promise never to leave you." Germany stated softly. Italy nodded and smiled sweetly.

"Germany? Can we go get ice cream?" Italy asked with a smile. Germany sighed.

"This early?" He asked. Italy bounced.

"Si! Si! Please!" He called out. Germany sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"Alright. Ja ja. We can go get some." Germany said. Italy smiled and jumped to his feet.

"YAY! Let's go! Let's go! Please!" Italy smiled and Germany got to his feet. He looked at the Italian. Italy looked so happy. Germany smiled and walked around his desk. Italy took his arm and started to pull him out of the office.

"Slow down Italy." Germany said and the little Italian slowed down.

"Alright." He said and kept walking. Germany gave him a pet on the head and the Italian pushed back into his hand. He was so happy. Germany truly loved the little Italian.

* * *

"Italy..." Germany softly said. The small Italian looked up to him and Germany left out a sigh. "Does the name... Holy Roman mean any thing to you?" He asked. Italy stopped and looked at Germany. Hurt was in his eyes but it was masked with confusion.

"No." Italy said. Germany sighed and turned to the Italian. He was happy that no one was in the park today. No one went on Sundays.

"Italy. You must remember him. You remember him right? He was your first love." Germany said. Italy stepped back. He looked close to tears.

"No. I don't know how you are talking about." He cried lightly. Germany crossed his arms.

"Then why are you crying?" He asked. Italy blinked and felt his wet eyes.

"Ah?" He asked and looked away wiping his eyes.

"Italy. I am Holy Roman Empire. You have to remember me." Germany stated. He was a bit harsh and Italy held his head. He started to cry. "Remember me Italy. The times we talked. When we painted. You taught me how to paint a rabbit. Italy. I am Holy Roman Empire." Germany held the Italian's shoulders and Italy looked up to him. He smiled and hugged Germany close.

"Holy Roma!" He cried out and left everything go. "I thought you were dead! I thought you were gone! Every one told me to give up!" Italy cried loudly. Germany smiled and smoothed the poor Italian.

"I'm here Italy. I never left you." He said softly and kissed Italy's head. The Italian smiled up to him.

"Then I want to give you a big dinner! For coming back to me!" Italy smiled and started to pull Germany with him.

"Not pasta again..." Germany sighed.

"Nope! Bruschetta!Crostino!Caprese Salad! Olive Salad! Prosciutto! Salami!Pasta! Pizza! Lasagna! Chicken! Lamb! And much more!" Italy smiled.

"Italy... That might be a bit much." Germany said.

"NOPE! You are a big man! Only the best for Holy Roma! Uh. I mean! Germany!" He smiled. Germany has never been so happy.


End file.
